A New and Crazy World
by Senator-X
Summary: When Touma, a veteran of World War 3, gets summoned by Louise to be her familiar, the unlucky young man blessed with the powers to negate anything supernatural is thrust into a situation that is new to him.  How will he react?  One Word: Fukouda!
1. A Certain School and A Certain Mage

"talking"

_Italics: Thoughts_

_Bold: Will be explained later_

Disclaimer: I do not own FoZ or TaMnI. If you want to see the full list of things I do not own, then you're reading this FanFic for the wrong reasons...

In a room, in a slightly lower-class area of the most technologically advanced city in the world, Academy City, a person with spiky black hair stares at the ceiling. This person's head is on the arm-rest of a couch that is a dull tan color. His right hand slowly opens and closes, as if missing the feeling of something that used to be there.

_Is this...the dream I worked for? _The person muses, reaching up towards the ceiling with their left hand. This hand has a tribal tattoo of what is know to most as a tree. Running up with various crisscrossing and intersecting lines of ink, like a million branches, thinning out near the elbow into a small mass of black ink, then eventually splitting again like the roots of a tree as it gets closer to this person's heart.

Upon further analysis, a particularly knowledgeable individual would notice this was a bastardized version of Yggdrasil, the ubiquitous and eternal World Tree. To some people, who live in to more esoteric world of Magic, this would be cause for alarm. Symbols and Idols have power, as they hold the power of the original. Therefore, this inexact copy would be dangerous and highly unstable. Added to the fact that the medium the symbol was created on was a Human Body, more specifically an arm, and the power given to the symbol should have blown up the weaker existences arm. This was terrifying, because it meant one of two things. One is that the World Tree no longer exists, which is impossible because Earth has not shattered or fallen into ruin.

The other possibility is that the symbol is not a mere copy, but a piece of the original. Or, god forbid, the original itself. This would mean that the particular being which has this tattoo has power equal to or greater then the world. Which was also impossible, as no human should have the power to stay alive, let alone exceed that of the existence that holds the Power of the World.

However, this particular being should have died thousands upon thousands of times. From war, from magic, from science, and yes, even from crazy women.

However, the universe has a weird and absolutely confusing plan in place for Kamijyou Touma. The man with the Imagine Breaker, the man who cleanses God and exorcises the Devil, the man who holds the supernatural at bay. Kamijyou Touma, a being whose divinity was the same as that of a black hole, whose sole existence is to keep the world from collapsing in on itself.

_Heh. With all the shit that exists in this world, it sure is ironic that as the support for the entire world, I'm unable to actively help others. I have so much power that I burn the people who must stand on my shoulders._

As this person, whose existence stands somewhere between that of boys and men, and between that of gods and humans, ponders about his purpose in this world, a green gate opens in the ceiling. He senses the feeling of magical power being negated. Curious, he pokes the oval portal with his left hand, seeing as how it was already close to the portal. It yielded a little, and then his finger went right through.

He heard a voice that was so desperate it made him angry.

_My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe..._

Touma makes a slightly quizzical face. _Perhaps this was not meant for me..._

_My divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant..._

_Okay, maybe this is for me._

_Heed my call, I wish for you from the very bottom of my heart..._

_Then again..._

_Appear!_

_ Ohh Fuck it. _God, the universe, and Kamijyou-knows-what-else (he patted himself on the back for that little pun) have always been looking for new, inventive ways to screw with him. He might as well just get...whatever this is...over with.

Instead of standing and jumping into the portal, Touma walks vertically from his position on the couch into the portal, the air he steps on sending out blue ripples, like water. As the last of his body enters the portal, a loud bang goes off in the distance, and the world goes dark...

* * *

><p>Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière was standing with her wand pointed out towards the top of the hill she stood upon. Her classmates stood in a semi-circle around the hill, with Professor Colbert standing slightly in front of them and off to the side. A slight breeze blew softly, causing Louise's pink hair to waver and flutter marginally.<p>

This was the day she had been waiting for. The day where she would prove that yes, she was not only a mage, but a damn good one, by summoning a familiar that was more impressive then any other. A Manticore, or Dragon, that was so Ancient and unique that they were the only one in existence. Or maybe a MantiDragon, that would be so cool! Then again, perhaps a little biologically impossible.

Then she was forced to watch as the others went, due to Valliere being close to the end of the Brimeaic Alphabet. There was nothing really special, except for a few magical creatures, like bugbears and giant moles and two griffins, one red and one yellow. Then Tabitha went. She called upon an amazingly blue wind dragon, a true creature of beauty and grace. Louise was scared of what would happen if she went immediately after Tabitha, who was known for being one of the best mages in the rising second year class. So, using her leverage as a Valliere, she was able to be moved to the end of the line. Kirche von Zerbst had just summoned a flame salamander, so it was Louise's turn.

After completing the necessary chant, Louise stood poised with her wand pointed towards the apex of the small summoning hill. She pushed as much magical power as was possible through her wand, and was now in the period called the Tempus Expectantes et Passus, or the Cycle of Fear and Waiting. It was the period between the casting of the Summon Familiar spell and the arrival of said familiar. It was intimitly related between the power of the summoner and the power of the familiar. For a weak mage, it could take as long as 20 seconds to summon a rat. For a strong mage, it could take a single second, while a dragon could take as long as a minute. However, even the most powerful of summons would only take as long as two minutes.

Louise had been standing there for the last 9 minutes. Sweat streaked down her face, and caused her shirt to start to become transparent. The crowd behind her started to get anxious. Summoning should never take this long, every book and tome said so. As Louise was the Zero, she obviously was not going to summon a particularly powerful familiar, if she summoned one at all. Therfore, she had obviously messed up. Again.

"Hey Zero! Come back here! You're just not good enough to summon a familiar!"

"Yeah Zero! Stop making us wait and be considerate!"

"Oi, calm down you guys, its obvious the spell worked perfectly. She summoned a dust mite! Those are magical creatures right?"

While this tormenting happened in the background, Louise did not even spare them a glance or a snarky comment, as every book said that any lack of concentration can kill both summoner and familiar immediately. Even if she had made a mistake, admiting it was the same as death. Besides, the last death had happened back during the Recreation Wars, when a girl whose father had just been killed in combat was attempting the ritual. She was not powerful magically, but the creature she was summoning must have been, as the ritual had gone into its second minute when she lost concentration. The magic imploded, and she died in a horrible explosion of guts and blood. The rest of the students who had not yet summoned a familiar were too troubled to complete the ceremony, so they were forced to wait until their third year to summon a familiar (as there is only one day of summoning a year). However, this had happened over 500 years ago. The Tristanians were a much more refinded people now, even if nothing had really changed except the kings.

As the summoning ritual was about to enter it's tenth minute, something happened. There was a cloud of smoke that entered into existence, about five feet above the top of the hill. As the students stopped chaterring and insulting Louise, The smoke began to clear.

In the smoke was a man, wearing a black suit that had silver cufflinks. Aside from those, the only other clothing of note was a medallion, which was golden, and had an obsidian Uroboros symbol wrapped around 永遠 (read as えいえん, or Eien) the kanji for eternity. This was the mark of a member of the Kamijyou faction, though Louise did not know that. He was tall, about 190cm (6'2'') but with his spiky black hair he was closer to 200cm. He had an ordinary, if handsome face, which was difficult to see from Louise's vantage point. He had the rather unusual hair color of black, something she had only seen on one other person before, a maid who worked in the castle. This would have made Louise be a little surprised, if she wasn't already absolutely shocked by two other thing.

One: he was standing in mid air.

Two: he appeared to have wings.

This second observation, however, turned out to be false, only a trick of the light, as Louise could see when the man began walking towards her. On the air.

As he reached the ground, within arms reach of the girl, he had a quizzical look on his face, which made it seem like he was surprised, but not altogether shocked by the events transpiring. The girl then turned toward her professor to yell.

"How can he be my familiar! I've never heard of a Human Summoning before!" Louise yelled at the bumbling professor. This shocked the students out of their temporary shock as well. Even the shock of seeing him standing on the air was not that surprising, considering they all could do the same. They just assumed a particularly enterprising trickster had cast the flight spell on him.

"Hah! Of course Louise the Zero would summon a commoner!" Said one blonde haired fop of a student.

"She probably paid for him, how low will you stoop Louise!" Kirche jeered from the sidelines, her gigantic H-cup breasts jiggling as she yelled.

"Silence! Louise, complete the ritual, even if he is a commoner, it doesn't matter. He is simply the most compatible creature in the universe for you," Colbert explained.

"Grrrrr...Fine! Come down here, commoner!" Louise told the commoner, pointing to the ground. The commoner raised an eyebrow, but knelt down anyways. Its not like he could understand this pointless language of gobbledegook anyways.

As he knelt down, the pink haired girl, who had a penchant for screaming instead of using her indoor voice (even if she was outside) pointed her wand at his forehead, which was now level with her small chest.

"Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers, grant your blessings upon this creature and bind it as my familiar!" Louise intoned, and with a flick of her wand and a flash of light, she began to kiss the unfortunate Kamijyou.

_ What is going on! First speaking in some made-up language that sounds like French, Norse, and English rolled into one, and now I'm getting kissed by a loli! Fukouda!_

After a few seconds, a now heavily blushing Louise pulled back. As she did, the smell of burning flesh hit her petit nose. She looked down, and noticed that the mans chest was on fire, literally.

"Gah! Nani ga okite iru! Saisho ni watashi wa ikutsu ka no betabeta rorikisu ni, bukimina karuto no tochi ni watashi o shūryō shi, ima watashi no mune ni wa hi ga tentō sa remasu ka? Nanjato?" The man yelled, in his wierd language of vowels after every consonent. Louise was going to smack the commoner for being so impolite as to yell in public, but then she remembered he was on fire.

Luckily, before anyone needed to take drastic (or dumb) measures, the fire quenched itself, leaving a couple seared holes in the shape of runes on the mans chest. They were off to the right side of his chest, just over his heart.

_Hmm...Those are quite intersting runes. I don't believe I've ever seen them before. I better remember to look them up later. _Colbert thought, not noticeing the looks the man was sending all over the place, as if hoping that by looking at everything, it would all start to make sense. Colbert then gathered his items as he turned to address the class.

"Alright class, now that everyone has summoned their familiars, you can all head back to the dorms. Remember that tomorrow there are no classes, as it is a day to get to know your new familiars. If you have any questions, I will be in my lab. Class dismissed!" Colbert instructed, and with a small chant, cast the spell of flight upon himself and flew back towards the castle/school in the distance.

After seeing this, the other students grabbed their familiars, or in the case of that the familiars were too large to safely carry, cast the spell of flight on them as well, as they all started flying toward the school. In the case of Tabitha and the two other girls who summoned griffons, they simply rode their new steed-familiars back to the school, leaving Louise alone with her new familiar, the tall commoner. Louise sighed.

"Alright commoner, were going back to the school, come on," Louise said, as she began to turn and walk toward the school.

"Anata ga machigatte iru? Watashi ga anata o rikai dekinai koto ga wakarimasen ka?" The commoner asked in his odd language. She had forgotten that he could not speak Halkegenian. Sighing, she turned around, and walked back over to the man, pulling out her wand as she went.

Louise chanted the short incantation for the translation spell, and then cast it at the man. However, since he was being so troublesome, she cast it in his face, trying to scare him.

To his credit, the man stood there neutrally, not even flinching as the spell exploded right in his face. When the smoke cleared, he had a disapproving look on his face.

"Thanks for the warning, pinky. I see that manners are still omnipresent even here in this backwater cultish land," The man said, in a tone that seemed distinctly _rude_ to Louise. She didn't care, however, as she was just extatic with the fact that she had just successfully case two spells in a row. Maybe she wasn't a Zero after all!

"Don't be crude, commoner! You're in the most prestigeous school in all of Halkeginia, the Tristainian School of Magecraft for Nobility. Show the proper respect, commoner!" Louise commanded, expecting that to be the end of the conversation.

At this, Touma sweatdropped. _Just what the hell is going on here! Am I even on Earth anymore?_

"Anyways, were going back to the school. Carry my bag, familiar!" Louise told Touma imperiously. Touma made no move to take the bag, however. He was still confused as to what was happening.

"Familiar? How can I be a familiar, I'm human! And I have a name, you know." Touma replied heatedly.

"Well, I don't really understand it myself, but your my familiar now, so it dosen't matter what your name is! I can just call you familiar if I want to!" Louise retorted.

(If you want, you can start playing Headlight by Monkey Majik. It's the ending theme for this fic, I guess)

"Well then, what should I call you, master?" Touma asked sarcastically.

"Yep! That's exactly what you should call me!" As Louise said this happily, Touma sweatdropped for the second time since he entered this strange realm. _Is this really what I should be doing? I mean, I only try to do the right thing, but what happens when your forced into a situation where your basically a slave? Gah, this is so confusing!_

"Well then, aren't we going to fly back, Master?" Touma questioned his little pink haired summoner.

"No. I don't feel like flying back, so were going to walk." Louise stated confidently. She then turned her body and started walking. "Come on, familiar. I want to get back before dinner."

Touma started to follow the little girl, but something (probably his horrible luck) caused him to trip on a root - the only one in the entire clearing! - and fall on top of his fun sized summoner. As she fell, her forehead hit the ground with a resounding 'thunk' and promptly passed out.

Touma stood over her for a one second.

Two seconds...

"FUKOUDA!" Touma yelled as he realized he'd have to carry the tiny girl all the way back to the school. Which he knew nothing about. Where he knew nobody. In other words, a perfect storm of unluckiness for Kamijyou-san.

And so Touma started walking towards the school, and towards his new life...

**A/N:** So there we go, the first chapter of my first fic, A New and Crazy World! A pretty lazy name I know, but whatever. Anyways, This fic's Touma has beaten Fiamma but doesn't get lost in Russia or wherever he was, and New Testament never happens. Instead, various other things happen that will lead to the real creation of the Kamijyou Faction, which will be explained in due time, along with his powers. The tattoo has a lot of meaning, and it will be explained soon. Oh, and instead of doing a Gandalfr Fic, which I thought would contradict a few of the ideas I have, he'll be the Heart of God instead (I forgot what it's name was. Probably ends in r.) Anyways, if you have any questions, you can put them in your reviews or PM me. I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. And I'll be trying to get out a chapter about once a week. Thanks for reading!


	2. A Certain BlackHaired School Boy

**POLL ON MY PROFILE! PLEASE VOTE!**

"talking"

_Italics: Thoughts_

_Bold: Will be explained later_

Disclaimer: I own FoZ or TaMnI in the same way that I own my own soul. Which is to say not at all. Fucking devil with his sweet ass two for one deals...

The sun was slowly setting as Touma carried the little pink haired girl in to the castle shaped academy firemen-style, with his arms holding one of her legs and one of her arms. As she softly muttered a strange noise, which sounded a lot like a cat purring, he noticed a black haired girl washing clothing on an old-fashioned washing board.

_Well, I'm gonna have to figure out this situation some how. Might as well ask this girl washing thos- WAIT! Is that a maid outfit! No matter how far I go, it seems like there will always be maids. Fukouda! _ Touma thought, anime tears streaming down his face.

As Touma was deep in thought about maids and unluckiness and blonde-haired rat bastards, the maid noticed the tall man carrying one of the students walking towards her. However, her rather active imagination began to come up with some surprising ideas about what happened to the cute sleeping girl, and why the man wearing a set of strange clothing was carrying her back to the Academy.

_Maybe he's a noble from a distant land, and was feeling a little frisky. Maybe he thought he could drug her and take her back with him! And then he got a change of heart after he almost kidnapped her, and decided to bring her back – or worse, he decided he didn't want her! Well I'm not gonna let some-_

The maid never finished that thought, as at that moment, the black haired man walked right into the maid, as if he was so deep in thought that he had completely forgotten the girl that had put him in to it in the first place!

The maid let out an oof, and the three people all collapsed in on each other, causing someone's foot to go right through the washing board.

"Fukouda! Why does stuff like this always happen to me!" Touma complained. He then looked down and saw that the girl he ran into was in a very compromising position, and moving quickly, he pulled Louise, now stirring from her sleep, off of the flailing maid. After he got the little fireball off the maid, he quickly stood up himself – not realizing that his foot was still stuck in the washing board.

"Uwah! What the Hell!" Touma exclaimed, as he lost balance while standing, and fell down into an even _more_ compromising position with the maid.

Of course, this was the best moment for Louise to wake up as well...

"Munya...Cattleya, you know I don't like it when you move me in my sleep," Louise said sleepily, rubbing her eyes like a cat to get the sleep out of them.

Touma watched her with wide eyes, realizing he was looking at a tiny Index. Well, a slightly smaller Index, since she had grown a little since he first met her. Not by much, though.

_I have maybe another 8 seconds until she realizes whats happening and goes ballistic. What do I do! Oh yeah, I'll just stand up again! Even if I fall, it cant get worse then it already is, right?_

Unfortunately for Touma, it could get worse. As he stood up, the washing board of doom got stuck between his leg and the maids leg making him trip face first...

And land with his lips kissing the maid's lips.

"Mmukouda!" Touma mumbled into the maid's mouth, sending shivers down her spine. As her mind was just starting to reboot, she wasn't ready for the spiky haired man's knee to start pressing against her-

"Familiar! What have you been doing to the help while I was sleeping!" Louise yelled as she witnessed her familiar doing...something...scandalous to the maid.

"Mmit misn't mmwhat mmit mmlooks mmlike!" Touma somehow managed to mumble into the black haired maid's mouth, like he had prior experience with these situations.

When Louise saw her familiar not only continue doing...umm...really _ecchi_ things...but not even stop to give her – the master – a proper reply, she lost it. She knew that she had no real ability to do something like a punishment spell, but she was damn well sure she could do an explosion. A big explosion, right in her new and disgusting familiar's face. Louise pulled out her wand and pointed it right at the flailing couples center...

The moment Touma felt the slight amount of killing intent radiating off his tiny master, he realized that what was about to happen could be pretty unfortunate for someone. Probably not him, but definitely for the maid, and as he didn't really understand how the magic of this world worked, he called upon the power that had saved his life, the life's of basically all his friends, and the world itself on multiple occasions.

Imagine Breaker.

Louise pointed her wand at her familiar, doing a short chant for the fireball spell. She knew she messed up when no fireball exited the tip of her wand, but she wasn't depressed this time. Though her face was absolutely red due to the perverted things her familiar was doing, she wasn't embarrassed for her poor display of magic. If anything, she was a little happy. Fireball could kill if an inexperienced mage cast it poorly, but Louise had never had an issue with that. The worst her explosions could do was give a concussion or knock someone out. After all, explosions didn't _kill_ people...

Since the spell was not a fireball spell, but an explosion spell, there was no sign of the fact that a spell had been cast aside from the slight decrease in willpower Louise felt after she cast it. However, Touma had been in many situations such as this, where invisible magic was being cast. He had the added bonus of knowing exactly where the spell was going, as the wand Louise was pointing at him attested to. So he raised his right hand where he knew the spell was going to be...

And shattered the spell.

A twinkle could be heard where hand met magic, and Touma immediately stood up, helped up the poor girl who had fainted from the things he did to her, and began walking menacingly towards his "master". As he did so, the air around him darkened, and the clothing on his left arm ripped itself apart into non-existence. If you paid close attention, you could see a special kind of magic, ley magic, the power of existence and the world, escape from the ground in blue tendrils where he stepped, creating dark patches. The blue ley magic began to gather on his back, taking the form of...wings?

* * *

><p>All over the school, students and teachers felt a shiver run down the back of they're spines. The air seemed to become heavier, and some of the more sensitive students sword they saw black lines, like rain, in the air.<p>

Headmaster Old Osmond stood up from what he was currently doing (fondling Ms. Longueville's large butt) and whispered to his familiar Motsognir.

"Go and see what's happening," Osmond muttered, not loudly enough for Ms. Longueville to hear. After making sure his familiar understood him, he then returned to being the old and senile man he was known for. No need to make a scene when it could be a false alarm. Besides, there was no need to worry Ms. Longueville, as she was a plebeian, not a mage. She probably couldn't sense the disturbance (in the force) that the old and powerful mage himself felt. As he returned to giving Ms. Longueville's behind a creepy massage, he glanced out the window.

_It looks like these slow school days are about to end, huh..._

While Old Osmond was giving the good old one two of sexual harassment to Ms. Longueville, Professor Colbert was running out the door, wand in hand. He had never felt something like this before, and his sharp senses and years of experience told him that the unknown was to be feared equally, if not more so, then dangers already known. One did not become the Flame Snake by ignoring everything that happened. Furthermore, he was worried for his students, as a power as abnormal as this could only be a danger to the school and his students. As he grabbed his robe and ran out the door, a single thought ran through his mind.

_What is this feeling?_

* * *

><p>Louise was frozen, staring down the angry visage of an angel as he walked towards her. His hair covered his eyes, but bright blue dots could be seen where his eyes were through his black hair. On his arm he had a tattoo of what looked like a tree, but was so confusing and convoluted it could have been anything. In fact, it looked like it was shifting a little, kind of like a normal tree would if there was a light breeze.<p>

The scariest thing, however, was the reappearance of the...wings...

They didn't really look like wings, but that was the only thing they could be right? In reality, they looked more like the leaves of a tree that were laid down on top of one another, except blue. Occasionally, a single leaf would flutter down to the ground, and it would appear to sink into the ground, where a ripple of blue...something would spread out in circles from the point of contact. Like the tattoo, they seemed to be moving in a non-existent breeze.

While Louise stared at him, Touma was freaking out. _Shit, I know I'm angry, but this is riduiculous! I didn't even go into this form when Shiage got into a fight with Accelerator, and I was much more pissed off about that one!_

As the angel with the scowling expression neared Louise, she began to feel a warm liquid run down her leg. If she was in her normal state of mind, she would be red and mortified, but she was not. She looked like she had just lost a few liters of blood, she was so pale. As he entered within arms reach of the pink-haired noble, she sunk down to her knees. Her mind was simply unable to comprehend what had just happened. All she wanted to do was punish her familiar for being crude and ecchi in public. She had no idea her familiar was...an angel...

Louise looked up as she felt the pressure on her shoulders and head lift slightly. Not enough for her to stand up, but enough so she could look at her familiar. She was ready, ready for the familiar to end her existence. She didn't know why she felt that way, but standing in his presence like this made her feel absolutely insignificant.

_Like the insults from the others, but worse. _Louise thought glumly. _Its like all the worries and fears I had of not being a mage and being a disgrace to my family have been multiplied by ten._ As she stared into his eyes, which were black with bright blue shining pupils, the same color as the sky, she heard him say something. Well, not so much _heard_ him say something, but felt him say something.

"**Just because you have the ability to do something, does not mean you **_**should **_**do something**_," _said Touma, his voice taking on a weird quality, as if a million different voices were funneled through a single voice. Still distinctly Touma's voice, but now also distinctly _different_. "**We do not live in a universe where actions can be taken back, so the fact that you would use you power to harm another individual without reasoning or listening is saddening."**

Touma then reached down, and touched the kneeling girls face with his hand. The warmth Louise felt from that single gesture was almost as strong as the warmth she got when Cattleya gave her a hug after Eleanor scolded her.

"**But, you still have time to learn..." **Touma muttered, almost to himself. Then in an even quieter voice he said "**After all, it's not like **_**your**_** world is ending..." **After he said that, his wings started disappearing, as the "leaves" fell to the ground, re-entering into the ground, creating a large water-like ripple where they hit the grass. When the ley magic hit the ground, it went directly back to the dark patches Touma made, causing them to become a vibrant green again. Siesta, who had just woken up, saw the blue leaves fall into the grass, and a single thought passed through her mind.

_Beautiful..._

At seeing this, Louise snapped out of her shock. She was still a little brain-dead, so she asked the very first question that came into her mind.

"What are you?" Louise asked timidly, still afraid of what she had seen.

"What do I look like, I'm human obvi- Gah! My fancy black suit! And I looked so goood in it too! Fukouda!" Touma yelled, as well he should. It was a nice suit, which was now unwearable due to the fact that the entire left arm sleeve was gone.

At seeing this, both the black haired maid and the pink haired noble sweat-dropped. First he's scaring the shit out of them, and now he's worried about his suit! The mage and the maid both started cracking up, unable to contain their laughter due to the sheer irony of what they just saw.

"Pffff...pfffhahahahaahaha! Are you serious? You lecture me about using my magic for a stupid reason, but then you do, whatever the hell that was, and you get upset because of your stupid sleeve?" Louise joked, barely even able to speak, she was laughing so hard.

"Oi, this is no joke! I just got this suit! And Kanzaki bought it specifically for me, she is going to freak out when she sees this! I'll be lucky if I have a head and both my balls when shes done!" Touma complained loudly.

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you went all crazy!" Louise replied. She should have been angry at her familiar for being so rude to her, but this was just too funny! And his depressed and dejected face was sooooo cute!

"Ummm...I could probably fix that...you know...if you wanted me too," the maid said softly. She found his reaction funny as well, and he did rip it trying to protect her...

Touma turned towards the black haired maid with stars in his eyes.

"You would? Really? Awesome, I'll totally pay you back some day!" Touma shouted, grabbing on to the black haired maid by her shoulders. He then hugged the young girl, while his "master" Louise laughed in the background.

_Maybe it won't be that bad to stay here. For a little while. _ Touma mused.

* * *

><p>This was the scene that Professor Colbert, the Flame Snake, and Motsognir, the familiar of Old Osmond, walked into. While Colbert was running towards the source of the odd...dissonance he nearly stepped on the mouse. After a quick glance, he lowered his hand to allow the mouse familiar to sit on his shoulder, and sprinted as fast as he could.<p>

When he arrived, he saw the human familiar of Louise Valliere and one of the many commoner servants who worked at the academy hugging, while Louise herself was standing off to the side, looking like she was in the process of recovering from a particularity strong bout of laughter.

"Hmmm...So what's going on here? Nothing indecent I hope..." said Colbert as his glasses glinted dangerously.

"Kya! Professor Colbert, what are you doing here?" Louise almost yelled, hoping he had just arrived and hadn't seen her familiar disciplining her. "Oi, familiar, get off the maid, my teacher's here!"

Touma quickly scrambled away from the maid, making sure that the washing board of doom was safely away from his feet.

"Ahh yes, the human familiar. I am Professor Colbert, a teacher here at the Tristainian Academy." Colbert said, holding out his hand towards Touma.

"Oh. I'm Touma. Kamijou Touma. You can call me Touma, though," Touma introduced himself while he shook the man's hand. Touma was unsure whether or not the custom of having the family name precede the given name existed in this weird fairytale land. "Kamijou is my...family name. Where I come from, it's normally polite to call others by their family names if you are unfamiliar with them. I doubt it matters here though."

"Interesting. So that would mean you're not from around here then...well seeing as how it is a Brimeic custom to have a first name as well as a last name. The only places I know of that have different naming structure are from across the Great Desert." Colbert stated. _It seems like there's more to this familiar then his runes. And is that a tattoo?_

"Well, I'm not certain about that. I...seem to have forgotten all of my world history," Touma lied. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to start telling people he was from a different world. Besides, he learned a long time ago from Accelerator that the less people know about you, the more cautiously they'll treat you. _Hell, I still don't know Accelerator's real name!_

"Hmmm, that's odd. Well, I'll be sure to let the headmaster know about your dilemma, perhaps he'll allow you to tend some classes, so you have a better handle on the world we live in," Colbert told him. "By the way, did you notice anything, um, odd happening around here? Or you, Ms. Louise?"

Louise was about to say that her familiar had done something, but then she saw the dangerous look in his eye. _Don't say anything. I'll explain what happened later._

"Nope, I didn't see anything," Louise replied cheerfully. She was a little nervous about lying to a teacher, but her curiosity at her familiar's abilities overrode her nervousness. Even though he said otherwise, she was certain that even if he was human, there was something special about him. _Not in that way, though! ...Okay, maybe in that way too._

"Well, if you say so..." Colbert said doubtfully.

"I'll be sure to let you know if I do see anything odd though! Come along familiar!" Louise ordered, as she grabbed her familiar's hand and started walking towards the dormitory.

"Gah! I have a name, and you _just_ heard it! Can't you at least try to act like you care?" Touma cried, Anime-tears streaming down his face like a river. _This little Chibi Pink is like Index and Biri-Biri rolled into one!_

"Nope, not even a little!" Louise yelled back cheerfully.

"..." While this little slapstick comedy happened in front of them, Siesta and Colbert gave each other a knowing look, then turned and went they're separate ways. Colbert to go inform Old Osmond of the False Alarm, and Siesta to go get a new washing board, seeing as he old one now had a hole in it.

*An Unspecified Amount of Time Later*

Aside from the weird glances of pity, lust, and disgust Touma got as he was pulled up the stairs to the dormitory, nothing remarkable happened. Well, except for that one red headed girl with gigantic breasts who started running her fingers up and down his arm...

"This is sooooo pretty! Where did you get this, darling?" The red head asked, somehow managing to press her rocking tits against his arm while she traced the tribal tattoo.

"Uhh, it was a, you know..." Touma said, stalling for time. He knew he was going to have to explain stuff to the little pink haired girl, but that didn't mean he was gonna tell EVERYONE his powers. He had to keep some secrets, dammit! "A gift, I guess." Touma finished lamely.

"Awww, you're stuttering, how absolutely adorable!" The huge breasted girl cooed.

"Kirche, get the hell away from my familiar! You're gonna corrupt him!" Louise yelled from her familiar's other side. At this, Touma's head started to heat up, and he got a creepy grin on his face. _By corrupt, did she mean-_

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Louise. I'm sure me and you're tall familiar here will be able to have a nice, loooong _con-ver-sa-tion_," Kirche moaned, right into Touma's ear. _Oh yeah, she definitely meant-_

"No! I forbid it! Familiar, get away from Kirche the Pervert right now!" Louise insisted, using her own epithet for red haired vixen.

"Not Kirche the Pervert Louise, Kirche the _Ardent._ It's because I'm so fierydarling," Kirche explained while continuing to press her large assets against Touma. Touma would probably have to her _request_ by now, but he saw the tell-tale signs of anger from Louise. _Yep, definitely like Index. She even has the floating hair...wait, floating hair! Fukouda..._

"Maybe-later-I-gotta-go-now-alright?" Touma sputtered, already pulling his arm out of the death trap that was Kirche's cleavage. "Kamijou Secret Technique #3! Swift Escape!"

Touma then picked up Louise like a sack of potatoes and, using all of his vast array of strength, abilities, and power, found the quickest path of escape. He ran up the staircase as Louise was screaming orders and insults at poor Kamijou-san.

"Tch. He got away. Oh well, for a plebeian, he sure is amusing," Kirche giggled, and then, making sure no one was watching, stuck the finger she used to trace the tattooed familiar's arm into her mouth, licking it and savoring the taste of the man that had so skillfully escaped her clutches.

Touma put down Louise after he was certain he had gotten away from the red haired succubus.

"Whew. Somehow, we got away," Touma uttered, taking a few deep breaths, but looking no worse for wear.

"What is wrong with you, you dumb familiar! Who said you could pick up your master and carry her like some...like some...commoner!" Louise demanded. She looked much different, her clothes were rumpled all over, and her long hair was whipped around like a dog's after taking a bath (or whipped around like Willow Smith). She looked rather similar to a pink haired Sadako.

"Ahahaha, don't worry about it. I'm sure no one saw you!" Touma laughed, while at the same time watching her face for the signs he always saw when a girl was ready to hurt him. Ahhh, it took so long to recognize it though, he had been injured sooo many times before he figured it out.

"Muuuuu...whatever familiar, but just for that, you won't get to sleep on the nice hay stack I had prepared for you!" Louise pouted. _Hmmm, she's kind of cute, even though she's saying such depressing things!_ "Anyway, were finally here familiar, so go sit down at the table, and we'll discuss what happened earlier."

As Touma stepped into the ridiculously spacious room, he let out a small whistle. There was so much room for activities! In the very center of the room, there was a four-poster bed, which was probably about king sized. About 3 feet away from the bed was a few stacks of hay, looking like they had just been moved there. _Probably didn't expect a human familiar, huh._ On the other side of the room, there was a fancy dresser and mirror combo, and A giant window which allowed one a great view of the blue and red moons outside. _Hmmmm...so this is definitely an alternate dimension, huh. Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while..._

Touma moved to sit down at the tiny tea table in the front of the large room, but Louise let out a little fake cough just as he was about to sit down. Touma turned toward her with a glare in his eye.

"Yes, is there something you want?" Touma questioned the pink haired mage.

"Indeed there is, if we are going to have a discussion, we must have tea. And every gentlemen knows that the men stand until all the ladies are seated." Louise lectured imperiously.

Touma simply sighed. _Might as well just get her tea. I'm tired anyways, so I'd like to get this conversation over with as soon as possible._

A few minutes later, with tea served and Louise seated precociously, the questioning began.

"So, how exactly do you want to go about this," Touma began.

"Well, seeing as how I am very generous, I will answer a question for each question I ask." Louise stated. _Ugh, I can almost feel her looking down at me. Too bad for her that will probably end soon._

"Fine, I'll go first. What is your name? All I know is that your first name is Louise," Touma requested. _I might as well start with simple questions, that way I'll probably only have to give simple answers _(A classic example of Touma logic).

"Hah, well I guess one of such low status as yourself would like such information," Louise started, while Touma sweat-dropped at this rather pathetic display in front of him. "I am Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière, the third daughter of the duke of Vallière, one of the most powerful nobles in Tristain!" Louise finished, pulling out her wand and waving it around with a flourish.

"Wow...that was...embarrassing for me..." Touma commented, the sweat-drop on the back of his head only getting larger.

"Don't be rude, familiar! Now it is my turn to ask a question," Louise announced, tapping her wand against her cheek thoughtfully. "I suppose I may as well learn your name. That will be my first question."

_Well at least she isn't completely stupid, by making me ask the questions first, she'll be able to dictate the pace of this game._

Out loud, Touma said "My name is Kamijou Touma. I'm also 18 years old, if you even care."

"I do not!" Louise revealed cheerfully, giving one of her odd grins as she did so. "And since you answered another question, I will allow you to know that I am almost 16. Almost a women!" she said this last part with an odd tone in her voice, like a combination of ecstatic and saddened, as if she couldn't wait for it to happen, but wished it didn't have to happen at all.

"16! No way, you're way to short to be 16." Touma stated, as if there was no possible way a girl could be that old and be that short and flat. _Even Index is taller then her, and she's probably the shortest person I know! _"Whatever, it doesn't really matter. My next question is – why do you keep calling me a commoner? I mean, I get that you probably come from money, but that doesn't explain why you treat me the way you do – it's like you think your better then me or something!" Touma finished strongly, finally being able to enunciate what had been bugging him for the last couple hours. _It's like there's this whole aura of superiority that permeates this building. It's disgusting._

"Pf-pfha-pfhahahahaaha!" Louise laughed hysterically. She couldn't even be angry about the short comment, as what he had just asked was so ridiculous. _He thinks he's people! _"Well _of course_ I'm better then you! I'm a noble, there's no way a simple commoner like yourself could ever be my equal!"

"Don't you think that's a rather stunted world view?" Touma stated dryly. He was containing the feeling of wanting to stand up and 'break' this classist girl's 'illusion'.

"Of course not!" Louise giggled, trying to calm herself down a little. _This is the second time I've cracked up today because of this familiar! Even if he isn't as good as a dragon or manticore, at least he can make me laugh! _"Look, nobles are people who can use magic, commoners can't. Nobles are necessary because we are the only ones who can create buildings, maintain forges, add new infrastructure to cities, and keep the world running. Therefore, it is the duty of every commoner, like yourself, to help us nobles in any way possible!" Louise commanded.

"Umm, did you really already forget about the wings? And people say I'm thick..." Touma pointed out, before smiling when he saw Louise's jaw hit the floor. _She forgets simple things pretty quickly, huh._

"Wait! So...that means...that you...you..." Louise sputtered, her face paling as she looked at the man's smile. _His mouth is smiling, but his eyes..._ "You're a noble!"

"No. Not even a little bit. Don't lump me in with _you_ people." Touma denied, as he raised his left arm, the arm with the tattoo. He held out his arm directly in front of Louise, about 6 inches off the table. "Your magic, from what little I've seen, is mostly about channeling the mana present in your bodies through those wands of yours, and then shaping the mana present in the air into a useable force. After that is done, the mana disperses."

As he said this, blue tendrils of ley magic began to coalesce in the center of his outstretched hand. "The magicians who use magic from where I'm from use magic differently. Since there is no mana present in the air, they are usually forced to channel their magic through spiritual objects of some sort. This may sound more limited then your magic, but in reality, due to the massive variety of magical artifacts and types of magicians, it is quite possible to fight a magician without realizing they're using magic at all," Touma continued.

"The 'magic' I use is different from both of these. In fact, what I do technically is not magic." Touma stated, ignoring the look of bewilderment on Louise's face. _There's no point to getting too technical. From what I can tell about this girl, simpler is better._ "What I do is very simple. Instead of using inner mana, which I possess none of, I call for the power of the world – and it comes."

"wh-what does that mean..." Louise asked nervously, fearing she already knew the answer.

"It means that the mana and life force, which is constantly present in all things, are able to be called upon by me. This is much different from your, or the magicians I just mentioned, abilities. While you use your willpower to create a supernatural event, such as a hurricane, I can create a natural one. The difference between our powers is the difference between a copy of a copy of a copy, and the original. No matter how well done, there will still be some aspects missing." Touma explained. "Well, I can't actually create a hurricane, that would require an excessive amount of control. I can, however, do a variety of things. One of the most important aspects of ley magic is that ley magic has many different properties, as opposed to normal magic, which normally can only have a few, specific properties."

"Ummm...I still don't really understand...are you saying that you automatically use square-class magic because all your spells have different elements?" Louise questioned. _Since I'm not very good at magic, I have to at least understand the theories behind it all. _After hearing her question, Touma sighed.

"No...look, it'll be a lot easier if I just show you..." Touma replied, then stood up and walked toward the tall window. He unlocked it and pushed it out, the cold night air stinging his face.

Louise got up to follow him, grabbing a coat laying on her bed as he familiar motioned for her to follow. As she neared him, she saw those wings from earlier begin to materialize. They lit up the room with a blue glow, and Louise found herself mesmerized as she watched the occasional timid leaf that made up his wing's fall to the ground. It fell just like a normal leaf, but the moment it hit a surface, it began to create those beautiful water-like ripples. They were entrancing.

Louise was snapped out of her reverie when Touma suddenly grabbed her by the waist, and jumped out the window.

As they plummeted towards the ground, Louise was some what surprised by the fact that she was not even a little afraid of injury from there little jump off the seventh floor. As she eyed one of the five towers in the distance, the pair's descent began to slow, until they were floating in the air, the nighttime world stretched out before them.

_This really is nice...I haven't felt warm like this for a long time. _Louise thought, eyeing her calm familiar's face. _He can act like a bit of a fool sometimes, but something tells me that he is worth trusting._

While Louise was staring at Touma's face, the pair began to ascend softly. As they reached the top of the tower, Touma set Louise down gently, and then began to face off into the distance.

"This is what I meant, when I said our 'magics' are intrinsically different." Touma stated, his eyes hardening slightly as he looked off into the distance. _Might as well do something flashy, so she realizes what it is my abilities let me do._

Touma stood there, arm stretched out in front of him, with his fingers spread. He looked for the whole world like an angel giving a gift unto a deserving group of followers. Except there were no followers, and there was no angel. _Heh, if anyone could be further from an angel then me, I'd like to meet them. _

Then, a bright blue light began to emit from the center of the courtyard, where Touma's outstretched hand was pointing. To Louise's eyes, it appeared as if the world began to center around that single point. She watched this whole display with wide-eyes. Even though she was frightened because of this casual display of power, she couldn't tear her eyes away.

"**Fæðing sköpun!" **(birth of creation) Touma declared, and from the small dot, which was barely a few inches in size, a massive tree began to push itself into existence. From the ground, a gigantic fissure opened, and blue ley mana began to form into the shape of a tree. Branches lengthened, and Louise could not contain her amazement as the tree began to grow larger then the tower they were standing upon. The gargantuan tree was easily five times the size of the tower, and was so wide the tower would easily fit into it.

The whole process only took around a minute, and the end result was stunning. Louise was staring at a tree of unreal proportions. It's bark was a brownish-blue color, while it's beautiful leaves were a bright blue color, the same color as Touma's wings. It was so large that Louise could not see the top of the tree, even from the remarkably large tower, known for being the largest building in all of Tristain. Only the high reaching citadels of the Romania capital could hope to compare to the size of the Tristain Academy of Magic's main tower.

"This is Yggdrasil. It is the tree within which the 9 great realms exist – the most powerful existence in the universe, because it _is _the universe." Touma explained, an odd tone in his voice. "The realm of gods and men..."

He then rolled up his sleeve, and showed Louise his tattoo, which was literally shaking with activity. The leaves and the branches were all shaking, and it was rather surreal, as it was still attached to his arm.

"Because of certain...events, Yggdrasil's collective consciousness attempted to mark me, in a last ditch effort to control me. However, my personal, original ability was able to resist the overpowering effects of Yggdrasil. Despite that, I was still forced to sacrifice my arm – but due to the power of Yggdrasil, my arm was restored, and I was given this tattoo. This tattoo marks the mutual acceptance between me and the Tree of Life. If the nine realms are in danger of existential death – where a realm ceases to exist – I will lend my power to the world tree. In return, the world tree lends me it's power when I ask." Touma told this story with a clouded look on his face, staring at a particular leaf, which seemed to be hanging on by the barest amount to the great tree.

"And that is my ability. And remember, I only told you this out of a feeling of duty I have for scaring you. From what I've seen, you do not need a personal servant," Touma announced, turning to stare into Louise's eyes. "What you need is a friend, more then anything else. I don't know what I am here for, per say, but I will try to help everyone, if I can."

With that said, Touma grabbed a stunned Louise, and jumped off the tall building they stood on. Louise felt warm, and even though she could barely comprehend what was said, she realized that no matter what, the man holding her would always be there to help her when she needed help. He was...reliable.

They landed with a soft 'poof', and a small amount of dust was released into the air. As Louise thought about her new fami- no, companion, she saw that Touma had let her down, and began to stroll casually over to the giant tree. Then she remembered-

"Uhmmm...Kamijou-san, what are we going to do about the tree?" Louise asked nevously, unsure of how to address her new companion.

"This." Touma said simply, then gently placed his hand on the tree.

And Louise stared in complete awe as the tree shattered, like glass, right before her eyes.

"You could say that this world is just a succeeding collection of illusions, existing only to confuse and corrupt the eyes and the mind. My goal is to destroy the illusions people place on themselves, each other, and the world." Touma declared, as the blue fragments of tree began to drift, twist, and twirl in the wind. "I hope to end the reoccurring cycles of hate and violence by forcing the truth in through the eye. I will create a cycle of truth!" Touma emphasized, and as Louise looked on, she saw him reach into the folds of his shirt, and pull out a medallion.

It was a piece of art, that medallion. It was a beautiful gold, with a rich embossing of an obsidian Uroboros wrapped around the kanji 永遠 (eternity). It looked for all the world like the sculpting of a god.

"The snake eating its tail, for the cycle of life and death. The 永遠 (still means eternity), for the never ending search for the perfect end. Gold, for the undying sun, and Obsidian, for the night which follows the day. I will cleanse the unworthy gods and exorcise the cruel devils. These are my goals, set in stone to be remembered forever more..." Touma commanded, and the snake on the medallion began to glow a warm blue. Louise was flat footed, as well as slightly terrified by the power he was constantly releasing. As she stared at him, surrounded by the warm glow of the still dissipating world tree, she felt awed once more.

_If it's him, I can trust him. If it's him, I will be okay..._

With those thoughts running thorough her mind, Louise passed out for the second time that day.

"Heh...I might've gone a little overboard, but hey, I always did love theatrics." Touma chuckled, picking up the small girl bridal style. As he jumped back up to they're floor, he gently brushed a lock of hair out of the sleeping girls face.

"Munya munya." Louise mumbled, causing Touma to grin gently.

As he laid the girl down in her bed, he glanced once more out the window, then whispered lightly in the pink-haired girl's ear.

"Sweet dreams, little one."

**A/N:** And that's chapter 2! I hope that answered some questions and raised others. If some of you don't get Touma's characterization, It's a bit like this – Touma, because of all the time he's had to spend running around and lying to people about what he's involved in, has gotten a "switch". It basically means he switches from comedic relief/straight man to serious mode when necessary. And if anyone's curious – no Touma will not be cheat coding his way through all enemies with Yggdrasil. He already had a powerful defense, but without any offense. The tattoo is my way of giving him some offense. Basically, the only two weapons he can use are a nuke and an ultimate defense, so don't expect him to be cleaning up everything, because if he did, there wouldn't be enough of Halkegenia left for a story.

Also, there's more to Fæðing sköpun then just the big tree (Hint: it's an anti-army technique). This one was about twice as long as chapter 1, and this will probably be about normal length. You can expect a new chapter every sunday, probably in the morning (no promises!). Any questions you have can go in reviews, and thanks to all the people who have favorited this story, reviewed, or put this story on their alert list! You guys are awesome :)

VOTE IN THE POLL IF YOU WANT A SAY IN THE PAIRINGS! AFTER CHAPTER 4 IT's GOING DOWN, SO VOTE QUICKLY!

On a different note, I will have a poll up after this one on lemons. If you fell strongly one way or another about lemons in this story, you can put that in your review as well.

Thanks for Reading!


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